23 August 2018

The Deliberatist

I was a Minimalist.
My wife was a Frugalist.

This is a love story of how a couple overcame radical differences to find common ground, and live happily ever after as Deliberatists.

"Wait!" You say. "What differences? Aren't minimalists and frugalists basically the same thing?"

"Oh no," I reply. "They're as different as a rich, blue Stilton and a Kraft cheese slice. Both awesome on a burger, but little in common beyond that."

The Minimalist

If you get a thrill every time you walk into a hotel room and see the clean lines, empty wardrobes and those tiny toiletries - you might be a Minimalist.

If you own more posessions than you could fit in a backpack and this secretly makes you deeply uncomfortable - you might be a Minimalist.¹

If your idea of a perfect wardrobe consists of just enough clothes to make it between wash days - you might a Minimalist.

Minimalists don't want much. In fact, they would ideally like less than that.
However, when they do buy something, they probably won't mess about. It's not likely to be cheap, because if you're going to introduce another thing into your life then it had better be awesome.

They don't want six shirts they bought in the sale, they want one shirt that is a classic design that will last for years, almost regardless of price.

Getting rid of things they no longer use is therapy. And depending on how hard-core a inimalist they are, that "no longer use" window can range from "not used in the last month" to "not used in the last year" - but definitely no longer.

The Minimalist doesn't spend much, because they don't buy much.

The Frugalist

If you go to a charity store, buy a bag full of cheap clothes and feel like this was a massive win - you might be a Frugalist.

If you hold onto something because you might use it again one day and you can't bear the thought of re-buying it - you might be a Frugalist.

If your garden shed has three trowels, and two spades that you hold onto just in case anything breaks - you might be a Frugalist.

The Frugalist abhors spending money, and will do whatever they can to avoid it. If this involves holding onto an unused pair of shoes for three years until you've worn-out your others, so be it.

The Frugalist values the bargain above all else. How much they own is less important than how much it cost.

The Compromise

The truth is, neither my wife or I occupy these positions to an extreme. I do actually have three trowels and two spades in my collection, because they do break, and I don't want to buy any more. My wife fiercly culled her wardrobe when we moved house, and is likely to do the same when move again.

As our marriage has progressed, we've moved into each other's orbit. I no longer have to own the very best smartphone, and she no longer feels the need to always grab the bargain.

The Deliberatist

This journey to FI has forged us into something else I think.

We've moved the focus from buying lots of cheap products, or buying a very few high cost products, to buying very few important products. We've moved the metric away from cheap/expensive to a value proposition.

Value is defined by that which takes away current frustation or will provide a demonstrable long term increase in happiness. Both of these seem very subjective - because they are. Where you draw the line on what is "enough" benefit is up to you, but even to be thinking about this in a deliberate way means you're raising the bar to exclude casual purchases.

That's really what it all boils down to.

We don't want clutter in our lives. Stuff that looked good on the shop's shelf but we actually have very little use for. We want to only own items that we love, that we need, that bring real value into our lives.

Strive for this, and the Minimalist versus Frugalist discussion is irrelevant. You're a Deliberatist.

And so am I.

The Deliberatist

The Minimalist

The Frugalist

The Compromise

The Deliberatist

Further Reading

Why Spending Less Is Better Than Earning More

Driving Down the Budget